Forgive me for being short and simple this week. I have excuses to include a huge test tomorrow which I need to do well on. I had to study, but studying was interrupted by my LSU Tigers pulling out a win against the evil Crimson Tide (water should be blue), and a few other peculiarities of life (to include being sick). Nevertheless, it is Munday and you must suffer the day like the rest of us. It is because of that (and that alone) that I feel compelled to help pull you through with 10 thoughts to help get you through this week.
1. Gingrich is about to become Mr. Legitimate and everyone knows it. Further, Obama shouldn’t be excited about this rising prospect. Obama can beat everyone in the GOP in a debate (as far as the populous is concerned anyway) except for perhaps Paul and Gingrich. I know debates aren’t as big a deal as they should be – but Gingrich has a plan to change that as well.
2. The OWS shenanigans are looking more and more like those cooks running around in the streets of Europe right now – and for many of the same reasons. Rapes, violence, arson, and increasing agitation are all signs that this “movement” is going to end up hurting the democrats. It doesn’t matter though; they will embrace them anyhow because…well, they have nothing else to embrace and are desperate for an answer to the Tea Party.
3. The contrast between my generation and the generation of my grandfather is simply embarrassing. The man worked so many jobs, many at the same time (and continues to at 70+ years old) that were hard, paid little, and required skills that he didn’t have. None of those obstacles stopped him for one simple reason – they paid and he needed to take care of his family. To this day my grandpa works and is willing to work as hard as anyone I know…His hands are rough and gnarled. These soft kids that scoff at applications to jobs that pay $14/hour because they deserve better are a waste of space…a space which can currently be found on a sidewalk under a tarp. In my grandpa’s day, such a retreat from responsibility was shameful.
4. The Jewish Forward Magazine named President Obama one of the most influential Jews of the year. Look, liberals are so infatuated with this man that they see him for what they want him to be in spite of himself. So if this man is worthy of a Nobel Peace Prize, then why not call him a Jew?
5. “I Cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending on objects of benevolence with the money of their constituents.” James Madison 1794. Crazy Madison, thinking that the Constitution would hold Congress accountable.
6. If I am ever accused of a sex scandal then I shall trump the seriousness of the accusation by simply declaring that I am a staunch liberal and that my private life should be left alone.
7. As a conservative I am 100% in support of poisoning the water of the public because the Koch brothers have told me to. If ever accused of being a pollutant I will respond by proclaiming my liberal tendencies and yell at someone for not recycling, driving a car, or simply breathing at a fast rate.
8. As a conservative I am 100% in support of beating up gays because I feel that I have the right to…and that is probably because of the Koch brothers as well. If ever accused of being a homophobe, however, I will simply say that I am a liberal who watches “Dances with the Stars” and votes for Cher’s daughter/son.
9. If I were to become a millionaire and then get attacked for having so much money while others have so little, I will simply rebut by announcing proudly that I am a liberal who wants government to take my money and give it to poor people but republicans won’t let them.
10. Of course, I’m just kidding; I would never say that I was a liberal…unless running for the governor of Massachusetts perhaps.
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